Junior Blogger

My little sis loves to write, even to the expense of other activities. She especially likes writing “like” me or with me. For example, on my last blog post I wrote “shooting at a feral dog,” and she adjusted it secretly to “shooting neibors dog.” I didn’t notice that she misspelled “neighbor’s” until there were about 100 hits. Not to mention the fact that I didn’t notice it at all. Nice.

I think she's pretty huggable, even if the dog doesn't.

But he get's over it, at least enough to laugh about it.

She’s been writing for school, too. So here we have our first guest author on the blog. My little, baby sister, just over a decade old, writes “The Princess and the Pea” from her perspective. I wish I had the unfiltered version: the princess was very purple and the prince was very dazed and/or googly-eyed. For your reference, the author's favorite book is a thesaurus, in case you don't notice that right off. But, this is the completed work.

The Tale of the Princess and the Pea as told by Prince Armond    

by Elisabeth

     Not too long ago on a threatening and tempestuous night in the palace where my mother and I resided; I sat indolently slumped in a settee in front of a boisterous fire, reading a rather tedious book. My mother’s voice droned on in the background about how it was impossible to find me a faultless bride. I yawned, stretched, and shut my book: hoping for a diversion, everything was far too monotonous for my liking. Mr. Hobbs, the butler came in saying something about a young lady at the front door who wished to speak to my mother and I.    “Ah ha a diversion!” I thought and I leapt up and pushed past him, my mother followed at a more dignified pace. Once I had gotten to the door, I saw the young lady. She was drenched, sullied, and trembling from head to foot, and actually quite beautiful for being so begrimed. In an enchanting voice that sent me into a daze she said, “Your most benevolent majesties Queen Thelga, and Prince Armond, I am Princess Adeline. I am fleeing the malevolent reign of my Uncle Renee who wishes to marry me on the morrow. I beg of you please give me a place to lay head this night!”

     I heard my mother in her own cunning way say something as she led the girl out of the room and as they were almost out of sight I came out of my daze. The next morning I sat eagerly awaiting her arrival; finally she appeared at the top of the stairs, more stunning then I had remembered. She looked a little weary and on the multi-colored purple side. When she had at last reached the base of the stairs, my mother, with honeyed words, covertly asked, “So, my precious, how was your night?” Adeline began to speak in her captivating voice, “Oh, my dear Lady Thelga, I am most assuredly thankful.   Nevertheless, I must ask, do the geese in this country grow nails instead of feathers?  Those feather beds were not as comfortable as they looked, and I am now quite purple from the bruises.”

     “Ah, my darling girl, you have passed the investigation! Last night I surreptitiously placed a pea under all your mattresses to discern if you were the one for my lad, and indeed with great pleasure I pronounce that you are the one.” My mother cooed in her singular honey-and-oil tone of voice.

      Soon thereafter Princess Adeline and I became man and wife. And as for the pea, I sent it to a taxidermist to have it preserved for posterity sake and it was put in the family museum under a glass dome. This ends my story: and my dear Adeline agrees, I shall not say we lived happily ever after because I still had that spine-chilling Uncle Renee to take care of.
        

                                                                  The End