Random and Recent Rambling

A random collection of recent happenings, completely skipping everything else that was amazing

·     Rumors are circulating as to why and how my dad can grow twelve perfect, gigantic bell peppers on one tiny plant.

·     As a ‘thank you’ for helping with his wedding, my brother brought a gift into the office where I was working Wednesday. “Thanks so much for all you did! We couldn’t have done it without you!” his hand extended with a little package of Paradise Pineapple lotion and soap from their Hawaiian honeymoon.  I was like “Awesome!! Thanks so much!! This is way cool!” examining the little package eagerly when he started laughing at me. From around the corner he pulled a big green box…Inside was something that has been on my ‘wish list’ for years! It is something that I have wished for every other morning of my adult life. Ben and Jess got me an espresso machine to thank me for coordinating their wedding! Now if you come visit me, I’ll fix you a steamy mug of something amazing.

·     When you travel alone to faraway places, do you ever pretend you’re someone else? I do. I always pretend I’m a very mean, hard-to-talk-to, fierce, young woman who is definitely preoccupied. It works most of the time, like when I’m not accidentally making new friends at my airport gate.

·    How can I put words to the facts that my dear friend, Alisa, is now married to the most perfect man possible for her, that I got to be there looking on while the Texas sun set warming my face, that I can feel her radiant joy to be his, that it was the most beautiful wedding EVER, and that I ripped the shoulder-sleeve off my bridesmaid dress during the reception and had to use my hair to strategically remain clothed-looking?

In the photo booth with my little friend Annakate after the wedding.

My mom's favorite photo of me from my photo booth shots.
She says I look "innocent." Perhaps.

·         Traveling both to and from Houston, I was pulled aside by TSA, put through the intensive scanner, patted down, and had to wait for authorization to be released for travel. Whaaat? I never would have even thought of hiding something in my hair, but the lady definitely ran her hands through my hair, poked through my braid, and grabbed at the back of my neck to check for something-that-I’m-to-innocent-to-even-know-what.

·         The problem with being the cook in your home is that you are often thinking of food and what tastes good. And then you are regularly in the kitchen. And then, you are frequently ingesting the objects of your thoughts. This combination can lead to an unconscious caloric overload on very short notice…

·         A couple days ago I drove down the driveway to be greeted by the big, entryway flower bed blocked by a large, burned piece of old wood, set up like a tombstone. Dad asks me later, “So what do you think of the new addition to the flower bed? All I need to do is add ‘R.I.P.’ and it’ll be finished!” Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaddd!?!?

·         Do I know how to cook? Well, I don’t know, but I could tell you how long in hours and minutes it takes to brown 75 pounds of ground beef, and make it into taco meat for 200 people…

·         My doctor is really getting to know me. Without my asking her, she now pauses, smiles at me and dives into explaining the chemical reactions for processes in my body, instead of just saying “take this and stay away from that.” There is nothing like knowing the “why and how”!

·         When someone, guy or gal, gets stuck in my mind and contemplation, I pray for them, and ask the Lord to take them off my mind ‘if and when’ He decides …And lately it seems my proverbial knees are hurting.

·         I narrowly escaped a near death experience of offering to make, and then winging preparation on, a special family recipe for three generations of my hostess’ family for their dinner. I didn’t die only because I didn’t know it was such an important family recipe, that is, until the grandmother, mother, and big sister all told me my version passed and was approved…

·         A few thoughts I’ve had lately

o   Be kind; don’t return in kind.

o   “ IHeart” is what people do online when they pursue others’ attention with self-love as the motivation.

o   A good woman will be ever so slightly complicated, but never conflicted. Her paths should always go somewhere you can follow without double-crossing anywhere.

o   If Johnny Depp makes a Dr. Seuss movie I will so not be surprised. Oh wait. I should have said that a couple months ago.

o   American Economy: If you don’t have money of your own to spend on your own time, you have to spend your time spending money for someone who has it.

o   I hope to always be seen first as “good,” before being called “beautiful.” Because the latter is paint without the former as primer.

o    Basing your life on what is unseen is the best way to prepare for the unseen.

·         Don’t ask me any questions about whipped cream. I now have painful memories in this genre.

·         The pumpkin patch and shop was open for some perfect fall days on the farm and now is pumpkinless, thanks to our little favorite pumpkin farmers. http://santostimes.blogspot.com/

Beautiful fall greeting by the front door
when I got home from Texas.

·         If you are shopping Kitsap County thrift and Goodwill stores for silver serving pieces, square glass, or ornate photo frames, my apologies. I’m quite sure there are none left.

·         This watch found me. We are friends now.

·         My sister “trains” cats. She has a belief system that you can actually make a cat do what you say docilely, even willingly.  People doubt her, but then she turns out these amazing limp felines that love her to death. She states that her final step in the training process is to have them sit for a “photoshoot” where they must be still and stay in the poses she places them in. She did one this week with “Mouse.”

·         My poor sister. She actually may have to explain to a teacher that the cat ate her homework…This may or may not be connected to the photoshoot event.

·         Mom and I spent all day Saturday shopping for an epic list for the wedding reception. Flats of black-eyed peas are hard to find in the Northwest and black tablecloths are frequently unavailable this time of year.

·         At Cash and Carry, every time Mom left me with the cart I was mentally warming up my jujitsu moves. An mysterious employee asked me all kinds of questions and even touched me with his yucky hands. Whenever she’d come back out of the different refrigerator or freezer rooms he’d leave again. He even followed us outside and waved goodbye. What a memorable creeper.

·         Do you ever have those days where everyone stares at you when you’re out and about? I had a couple of those this week. I even grabbed my face and wiped down a couple times just to make sure there wasn’t anything there. Yes, I checked my back-end in a mirror, too, just to be sure everything was all A’OK.

·         Had a randomly super depressing morning in Texas, and then I called my mom from my waiting perch on a short ladder leaned against the wall in a GAP store. She told me she had been pressed for time that morning and hadn’t had long enough to pray and she hadn’t yet prayed for me. She is such a prayer warrior. I can see the difference in my day when she prays for me!

·         While I was out-of-town, my cat got hit by a car and died. “Smudge” is just  a very fond memory now. She’s the kitten I brought home randomly from the grocery store one busy Saturday morning over one arm, and stood in the kitchen with a Starbucks in my other hand, waiting for my family to react. The cat that caught about four mice a day, slept with the dogs at night, and followed me everywhere—is gone.

·         I went for bike rides, runs, and walks across Texas countryside last week, and it was so exhilarating! Maybe the only thing better than the early mornings, was lying on the white road at night watching shooting stars with friends.

·         Buzzed into an amazing furniture store in Houston and never wanted to leave.

·         The doctor told me that due to my rapid improvement, “someday” –maybe even next year—I will be able to eat eggs, wheat, and beans again. And those are all things my blood tested as allergens earlier this year! I haven’t eaten a morsel of bread in two years…

·         My secret anti-social nature chimed in for my life while visiting friends in Texas, and I grabbed the common baby, Marcus, and went to bed at midnight despite the active and awesome nightlife of the home. I’m told I missed a few up-til-4:30 nights. Truth be told, I would have died if I had tried.

·         Our guinea fowl “Rev” has been single for several years, but this week “Babe” came to the farm. They are so happily in love.

·         Poor mom says things about her cell phone reception…

o   At Costco talking very loudly to overcome the distance, and surrounded by a crowd of people looking on sympathetically, she absent-mindedly shouted to my dad,

“I’m breaking up with you! I’m going to need to move…I can’t hear you. Did you say anything? I guess we’ve broken up, then…”

o   In the living room,

“You keep breaking in and out, here. I’m just going to go out the front door and see if that’s any better.”

o   In the kitchen,

“My phone is breaking out, I better go closer to the sink, and see if things are clearer.”

·         At the thrift store, I looked into a gentleman’s cart at the register, heaped with packages of what appeared to be white rags for using in the garage or lab. The marked price was fantastic, so I complimented him enthusiastically on what a good deal he found. When he looked at me somewhat awkwardly over his spectacles, I realized that the “packages of rags” were…Depends. Wow, Johanna. You are so...just…wow.

·         The world was gracious enough not to ask me why I put whip cream on my carrots for snack the other afternoon. Thank you, that was kind.

·         My dad hurt himself washing buckets of river rocks from our creek for me to use in decorating at the reception. Those precious rocks are making me furious even though they are perfect.

·         You know that weird mood where you realize your two best friends got married within a couple weeks of each other and you realize you are very, very single? No? Well, I confess I got in that mood a couple times over the past week.

·         I stayed up all night talking to friends before I flew home from Texas in the morning. That was the best, bad idea ever. Actually, it wasn’t planned. We looked at the clock and it was time to wake up…

·         Do the handsets on anyone else’s phones have their names across the screen, or is that just our house? Ours say “Kim,” “Bob,” and “Bubba.” Yeah, I don’t know why, either, really.

·         My sister is on the trail double-time trying to get me married. Let’s just say its kind of odd and her suggestions to get me there are bordering somewhere past humorous. She catches my mother off-guard and makes her agree with the strangest things. “Mom, don’t you think Johanna should sell things and stuff and all to rich men in Bellevue, right, Mom, dontcha think?” “Hmm? Yes, dear.”

·         While I was away, my parents purchased an air purifier for our home. Coming home to the farm has never been sweeter in so many ways. They even got me a second, smaller personal air filter to take places with me. That was extremely generous of them, but I insist that I don’t complain that much, they are just extremely kind…

·         Spray paint is just so cool. Thrift store + spray paint = treasures.

·         At work one day, I listened to “Vincent” by Josh Groban over and over just because I could. It is such an amazing song, just to think about the words. It reminds me of Jesus…

·         Since I am told I cannot technically wear men’s cologne, a new favorite perfume found me. Aqua di Gioia stole my heart and we are now inseparable.

Uhhhhmayzeeng. Only thing better is the guy's version...

 

·         A few of the Random Farm Days’ items this week for me…           

o   washing a pile of pumpkins at night in the cold

o   driving for miles after dark to pick up a truckload of chickens

o   digging potatoes, beets, and carrots

o   sharpening chainsaw blades

o   splitting firewood

o   cleaning roofs and gutters

o   washing dirty eggs for cartons

o   grinding wheat and making bread

o   picking apples

o   laughing at a peahen’s antics

o   sending the old collie to round up the birds

o   shooting at a feral dog causing havoc

o   spraying down rubber boots

o   shooting at a chicken hawk

o   turning the air filter on turbo

o   pointing out to mom that “something” got on her shirt

o   crisp, cold mornings alone with nature

o   working until every muscle in your shoulders and arms aches and is going limp

o   hauling rocks

o   mowing a field

o   wishing I had slave—I mean—big brothers at home again!

o   I’m so fortunate to live here…and that my dad still does all the “mucking”

It's another wedding week at our house! Sometimes I think time is the only thing tighter than the budget, but then I remember what the whole point is. How blessed I am..