Roadtripping with THE Man

Roadtripping with my daddy like I did last week is pretty sweet, even if it is 2090 miles. Here's why.

• He says adorable things like, "Do you want Starbuck?"
• I ask "What's that truck for?" He says, "Manure." I say, "Oh, I can smell it." He crunches down and says, "That's my broccoli you smell."
• He says, "Where's the mint farm?" I say, "It's still just prairie." He says, "I smell mint." I say, "That's my gum." He says, "The five hour piece?" I smoosh down and say, "Yes." I rub my jaw.
• He says things like. "I'll buy coffee. What you want?"
• He jerks awake and asks, "You OK? You falling asleep?" I say, "Nope."
• I jerk awake and ask, "You OK? You want me to drive?" He says, "I'm fine."
• Then he says, "You want Starbuck?"

And that's it. We don't talk much, unless something major has to be discussed like church infastructure, marriage, family, flora et fauna, creeps, and Dad's first steak. We look outside, we stop sometimes, we laugh at other people, we point out cool stuff, we listen to baseball and acoustic guitar and Pilgrim's Progress.

While driving I decide connected things one after the other like

• I wonder how many "I90" signs there are in the United States.
• Parents should not put their children to sleep with books on tape as infants and toddlers, unless they want books on tape to put them asleep as adults.
• When asleep, mountain passes are most irritating. But when driving, they eliminate the need for coffee.
• My dad's accent is imminently cute and awesome. (Please see above mention of "Starbuck.")
• If my driving 15 above the speed limit is too slow for other drivers, they really need to get home as badly as they seem to want to.
• Home is closer to everywhere the further you drive.
• I honk the horn more than my dad.
• The only deer species in the contiguous states whose females have horns are antelope.They are also the fastest. My dad told me that. And he said caribou girls have them.
• The faster you drive, the harder it is to snap cell phone photos out the window.

Badlands National Park in South Dakota

Sunrise over Yellowstone National Park