Reality. Its just what people need to see. Does that girl
standing by herself even know what its like to feel perfect, unchanging love?
Does she know she doesn’t have to be faultless to meet some unreal standard,
even from people she adores? Does she know loving God and living life is
actually an amazingly happy experience of freedom and peace, not a matching set
of cruel judgment and rules?
Sometimes, my heart throbs with that anthem on behalf of
others. Real life in Christ is so holy…yet unabashedly fun. How do people skip
the combo? The forward to a favorite book entitled The Christian’s Secret to A Happy Life from 1883, starts with an
anecdote from a “keen observer.” He says, “You Christians seem to have a
religion that makes you miserable. You are like a man with a headache. He does
not want to get rid of his head, but it hurts him to keep it. You cannot expect
outsiders to seek very earnestly for something so uncomfortable.” So I ask you,
why miss out when you have it all?
My phone rang and rattled in the cup holder as I drove down
a winding road along the waterfront. I saw the name of a dear young girl across
my screen and decided to pull over to take it. I steered into a turnout,
usually packed with local fisherman: but the sun was so hot this particular morning,
that I found myself alone.
“Hello Sweetheart! What’s up?” I answered.
Yells of anger and desperation flooded from the receiver. Surprised,
I jerked the phone back from my ear and waited for the torrent to let up a
little. The girl’s mother was the tortured voice pouring out the anguish of
“bigger issues” onto me with blame from a heart of obvious misery. I took a
deep breathe and verbally juggled my own sudden emotions with hers, searching
for some sort of comprehension of what was tearing her apart and what I could
have possibly done to make it apply to me. She hung up on me after only a few
minutes of accusatory, divisive rage.
I sat there for another 45 minutes, at least. Yes, I had a
full schedule, but now I had an overflowing heart, too. I prayed, I called my
parents, and I just felt plain old sad. The dear friend called back after
several hours passed and apologized profusely, taking back her vindictive
accusations. Yet, I still lived on in wonder and tearful self-examination.
“What’s going on? I just want to love people and be in love with You!” I begged
the Lord.
What’s the connection to the topic of happy reality, you
ask? That’s just it. “Bigger issues” aside, whatever they might have been for
the poor mommy, her standard of perfection pressed upon others is made by
herself from what she has heard is
“good.” God has a different standard than ours and sometimes…we are so blinded
by self-righteousness or stuff good people say that we block out His glittering
glory of mercy, grace, freedom, joy, peace, and downright truth for what it actually is. And God is lost in our image of who
we have created in our own imagination. No wonder people live like they have a
headache…
I would never in my entire life cross a parent’s boundaries
for their own child. But at the same time, I find in myself a need to abide by
a standard so much higher in a different way than apparently can be
comprehended by those blinded by their own opinion. God makes demands upon me
to live for Him, without any fake layer of perfection. He has asked me to yield
to Him to change me day by day, but also to be real about my thoughts, my
attitudes, my emotions, and trust Him with how others take it. Meanwhile, I
cannot be tossed around by mere good people’s opinions and perspectives…and
neither should they. What does God have to say? And how does He want your life
to look lived before Him…and the entire watching world? I cannot live for you,
regardless of how much I love you.
God bless you, Johannah. <3 The Christian's Secret of a Happy Life is one of my very favoritest books!
ReplyDeleteBless you Johannah. I had a similar experience not too long ago. I am so grateful for the calls like that, as hard as they are to hear, because they cross-check my motive and sincere love for the Lord. God be with you! (By the way, I love the posts on who NOT to marry. What a helpful and encouraging article to read!)
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