Community Expansion Networking Protocol

Or...How to Make Friends

• Go to a coffee shop you frequent

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• If you do not regularly attend life-saving, redemptive, breathing sessions at a local coffee shop, now is the time to change your life forever.
• Smile at people as you get in line, and avoid intimidating body language (avoid doing it and people who are expressing it)
• While waiting in line, subtly listen to everyone's conversations
• Offer personal solutions to the problems being publicly broadcasted
• This is touchy, but important
• If someone says to the barista, "I traveled four hours to pick strawberries with my children yesterday and when we got to Snoqualmie, the fields were empty!" Respond with helpful info like, "My family has an organic, u-pick berry farm and we can't get enough people out in the strawberry field this week! I just picked a five-gallon bucket this morning. Here is my mom's name and phone number on this napkin..."
• Whereas if someone says, "Seriously man, my wife's girlfriend is going so crazy, I'm actually glad to escape the house to work in the morning!" Do not respond at all. Pretend not to hear.
• (Depending on how that went, you may have just completed a successful personal community network expansion. But wait, there's more!)
• Find a comfortable chair and settle in with your drink to read, do some work on a PDA, notebook, or other electronic gadget

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• When someone sits nearby, or at your table, access whether to greet them or not
• If they do not fit your stereotype for stalkers, serial killers, creeps, or pervs, greet them with a sincere smile and welcoming "hello."
• If they do fit your stereotype for one of the above, pretend not to see them, while watching them very carefully. It may be a good time to put your sunglasses on indoors, or leave.

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• When they respond to your welcoming "hello," offer a kind and honest remark. 
• Say things like, "I love your shoes! Where did you get those?" 
• Despite the honesty or sincerity you may feel, do not say things like, "Have I seen you before, like at the gym? Those amazing biceps look familiar!"

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• Then talk about life and the surprising mutual interests you most certainly have
• I'm pretty sure you'll have a new friend
• Maintain your connection and a reason for your contact and you will have completed a successful community network expansion protocol!

If you need some more pointers, I'm sure I will run into you at Starbucks and we can talk more, then.

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