“People will hate you for saying what you have to say, you know.” A mentor told me warningly.
“Being someone’s confidant, especially when that person is in sin is scary business. Its like medicating a pig. You’re going to get bruised and dirty and they don’t care that you are trying to help. All they know is pig. Pig is most important. Pig in pain.” My brown-haired brother told me.
“You know who people are. You just do. So make sure you let God pick who you hang in there to help.” My black-haired brother comforted me.
“I can’t have any more of my daughter being sacrificed for foolish people who won’t take real love. Let ‘em go.” My dad implored from his bench in the woodshed where he worked, as I listened from the seat of the lawnmower.
“You better be checking that you’re right and you better have a clean record.” My mom always warns me, her eyebrows knit together.
“Just quit taking people’s [bad behavior].” My baby sister rants, snatching the fluffiest pillow.
“I hope Satan never loses your address because you have chosen to become unworthy of his attack.” A pastor friend preached.
So I balance these thoughts from treasured people…And I look into a world of pain. Usually, the needy people sure don’t look like “pigs” to me despite my brother’s truly insightful remark, and I want to hug them and give them the truth that makes me so free! But there are things I have learned over the years of being a mentor and loving plain old people.
- Women counsel women and men counsel men or it is soon properly titled something else.
- If someone’s life is one big drama after drama of trouble or rumors, don’t touch it with a fifty foot back scratcher unless God commands you to crucify your reputation and be Christ to the drama cannibals. And sometimes He does.
- When people bash you, which is inevitable, self-examine and hear them out. But always realize that your love is on Satan’s radar and He really wants to rip you up.
- Don’t seek people out to “help.” Let them come, and if you love them truly…they will.
- No matter what…Be real and honest.
- Don’t attempt to fix, meddle, or… give advice to someone who is not ready.
- Wait for God to work. This often means keeping your mouth shut about their obvious issues and your knees on the floor in prayer, while keeping your window of opportunity in their life open for the right moment.
- Don’t expect to be heard, but expect to hear.
- You had better be so connected to the Lord in your thoughts and life, that you don’t get
- Sucked dry
- Put down
- Saying the wrong thing
- Feeling hopeless
- Oh, you will have some of those things happen, but at least you will have no guilt that it was your fault, and you will know something bigger than you is happening for God’s glory.
- Others will judge who don’t honestly care about the individual you mentor. Deal with it, inside.
- Be trustworthy, and breaking confidence better be epically rare.
- Never talk down to anyone.
- Nobody can argue with experience, even if truth is rejected.
- Enter every conversation realizing that it is probably you who is going to learn something today.
I will always keep loving and always keep learning. So thank you Lord for this beautiful sacrifice called love that You did first. Help me to do it right.