Windows of Productivity

I hope you know facetious when you see it. Otherwise, I am doomed. Enjoy… Oh, and for the record, I didn’t write this at work. I have an alibi and witnesses.

Oh my. It is quite amazing what you see when you glance out your window at work…Perhaps that’s why my old office was in a dark hallway under falling stock items. Perhaps it was thought more work effective? You see, it distracts me when I glance towards the sunny street and see someone putting on a shirt, or a child eating ice cream without me, or someone with a neck so small it makes one “wonder.”  Except, one day I did have the good fortune of seeing the Wells Fargo across the street being robbed. That paid off. (It did pay off for me, too: but I clarify that I had absolutely nothing to do with the hacking and sacking.)

This is an important part of my life. It’s how I determine what people are wearing these days, what vehicles are most commonly driven on the Kitsap Peninsula, and I subconsciously accrue statistics on Old Navy shoppers, Wells Fargo bankers, Trader Joe’s customers, and Costco’s traffic. I am informative at the water cooler, and if ever I’m hired by one of those company’s analysts, I’ll be on the top of the pack. But my other window looks into the lab. At a truthful calendar. It makes me get back to work or do some pencil pushups.

Before you start judging, realize that I have scientific evidence to support glancing out the window during work. http://www.livescience.com/12824-distract-interruptions-boost-performance-concentration.html. So there. That article talks about how it even boosts my performance.

I’m also saving my employer hundreds, maybe thousands, on health insurance costs. What if I were to go insane? Or even more probably, what if I were to damage my eyes with staring at the computer screen all day? I need to look out at far distances occasionally for company benefit. Apparently you can get the same strain at a Cinema in one sitting, but who watches movies? Most of us only work and sleep. I mean, sleep at home, mostly, of course.

You too, could enjoy this pastime! It is beneficial in so many ways, and to so many people. I cannot think of a better thing to do with your eyes while at work. Many times, I have been the victim of self-abuse and not once for hours back-to-back have I glanced up, but instead I gazed into the depths of tedious work. And when I looked up, it was dark outside, and I missed everything, and there was still more work to do.

So, for the profitability of your person, company, city, and our nation at large, I would encourage you to share this article with your employer. Gathered around the grand, cherry conference table with somber Dilbertesque drama, I dare you to rise and read this post to your co-workers and managers with the sonorous voice and bearing of Cicero. Compel them towards the truth! Use stirring questions and language like, “So, why do we even have windows on our building if we are not to use them advantageously? Is it not so, my illustrious co-workers, that they are just like the restrooms? We use what we are given with grateful hearts, cherished managers, be it but meager toilet paper or hand-sanitizer! And an angelic host we are not! But we can raise ourselves to a glorious, loftier height by the mere time spent profitably in a glance into the distance through sparkling glass with the blazing likelihood of sunnier horizons—yes, together.” After they catch their breath from your stirring appeal, they may even clap thunderously. And that will give you about five seconds to look out the window before you have to clean out your desk.