A dog stalks across the room, his beady eyes showing brilliant white around the edges. He pauses, soaking in your every weakness with his wrathful glare, foam gathering around his mouth. His lips curled back and his hair spiked up across his hackles, a low growl escapes as he hunkers down. Suddenly he makes the rush for your throat. He explodes into an angry, snarling bark…and licks your hand and drops to your feet, his tail thumping joyously against the floor.
So apart from highly unlikely, we would call a dog like that “crazy.” No healthy creature can lie about who he is and what he thinks! The merciful among us would take that Fido to the vet, in a cage, with a muzzle. And the unmerciful—well, Dad would dig a hole. So how come we let people act like that and call it normal?
Being “double-faced” is nastier in human form than any crazed animal could be. The girl who smiles at you with frosting on her cake-like words, and finishes you off with a piece of her mind behind your back to another person for dessert, is just as crazy as a mad dog. Who are we kidding? Some parts of our country have a cultural habit of politely passing phrases in conversation embalmed in sugar, to cover for actual personal abhorrence. But really, why bother if you’re not going to change your personal opinion?
Real is real is real is real is real. Be whoever you are to everyone because anything else is unhealthy, unnatural, wrong. Period. (If being nice to someone that you bad mouth behind their back is what you consider “real” then just stop right here. You might just need to go to Urgent Care yesterday.)
The Ultimate Wisdom says to “love one another.” It even says to “love your enemies and bless them that curse you.” That doesn’t leave room for backstabbing, let alone disliking people. If you don’t like someone that much, you either need to get it fixed inside of you, or talk to them about it. Scary thoughts from God, right there.
Perhaps it can be illustrated by the example of those people who act like they have everything because they don’t, so nobody will give them anything because they look like they have it all. It works out so well for them. Why do some feel like they have to lie like this in words or behavior?
Some possible honest reasons people may do this if they (or we) really ask themselves (or ourselves) “why”:
· Doesn’t think people will respond kindly if he expresses himself honestly
o That’s legitimately sad. You are a worthy person and your opinion presented out of loving care for others, counts!
· Wants to be admired by everyone more than he wants to be a real friend to anyone
o This happens frequently out of pure selfishness. Keep asking how that’s going to get you admired.
· Is self-focused, manipulative, or greedy
o Its time to update your sweet personality.
· Doesn’t like who he is or doesn’t know who he is
o Sometimes tearing others down is the response of someone who is confused about himself. Find your permanent identity in what Someone greater than yourself says about you...not in conveniently lowering others.
· Subconsciously thinks people like fake jerks and are dumb enough to never figure him out
o Sorry if you thought it wasn’t obvious when you’re lying.
· Says whatever comes to mind
o Whoops!
This behavior of undercutting people you won’t confront, or those whom you just shallowly dislike, is a reflection of an inward struggle. There is no condemnation from me upon those who do, just an advisory warning for their own safety. Well, I can never say it better than Scripture, really.
He that hateth dissembleth with his lips, and layeth up deceit within him; Proverbs 26:24
He that hideth hatred with lying lips, and he that uttereth a slander, is a fool. Proverbs 10:18
Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. Proverbs 27:6
Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight. Proverbs 12:22
Be not a witness against thy neighbour without cause; and deceive not with thy lips. Proverbs 24:28
Burning lips and a wicked heart are like a potsherd covered with silver dross. Proverbs 26:23
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