Running with Stilettos: Are You Looking Sharp, My Friends?

You know you’re a fashionista when “being held up with a stiletto” sounds like an everyday, proper occurrence.  Personally, I have stilettos of both kinds. They’re mostly shoes, though. You see, my problem is that when you wear the shoe variety, people don’t actually trust you with the knife variety. The Seal knife you put on your wish list every Christmas gets passed over, people thinking “That’s not really her.”  That is called stereotyping—and it’s not nice.

So let us stereotype. People are like shoes: the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

·         Some you don’t even see and others do their best to be all that you see.

·         Some classily add to their surroundings, and others bring the house down with bad taste.

·         Some smell nice and some don’t.

·         Some are for the long haul and some get painful to have around because they’re too pointed.

·         Some are your mother’s friends and some are your friends: the ones that are both are the best.

·         Some are season-less and timeless and some are only for fair weather, after all.

·         Some are made of good quality from the inside, out, while others wear away.

·         Some last forever, and others you actually want to throw away.

·         Some are just for fun, and others are the go-to for serious times.

·         Some make you feel amazing, and others, kind of…”dumpy.”

·         There are those that raise you up, and those that keep you low.

·         There are those that take you places, further than you thought possible, and those that hold you back.

·         Some are bold, and others are quiet: you need them both.

·         Some are the life of the party and then you have the snuggly, quiet ones.

·         Kept for too long, some give you deformities that others can cure.

·         There are those you can shop all day with, and those that can “just do dinner.”

·         Some make you look better just by being there, and others “backbite.”

·         There are those that you leave at the door, and some that are clean enough to meet the folks.

·         Some look sharp, while others are blunt.

·         Some are too much for you and you fall out of touch with them, and its embarrassing—

·         You know a good fit when you feel it, but when it is off, it bothers you more and more over time.

The saying “shoe love is true love” goes a little further, if you think a little deeper. It reminds me about loving people and the ups and downs we face and things we put up with in that love. I used to have it on a sign in my bedroom…But nobody got it. They assumed that because I had over ninety pairs of shoes I must be somehow obsessed with shoes and thusly hang a sign signifying my devotion. Such assumptions people will make about others...

I sold that little sign in the garage sale a few weeks ago, along with as many pairs of my shoes as I possibly could. I didn’t realize I was Cinderella until I watched half the county try them on and sadly walk away barefoot, except the little Guatemalan ladies. They left high and mighty and toasty brown in my pumps, one mincing step after the other. Yes, I was selling my shoes. Because I realize that I don’t need a gajillion pairs of shoes: I just need those that are helpful, a good fit, and belong in my life. Just like people.

Sending a second glance over that bullet pointed list I just wrote, made me evaluate what kind of friend I am. Do I tend to be a good fit, or bring pain to the lives of others? Am I always there for the long haul, bringing comfort and making others look good? I certainly hope so.

You are my friends, no doubt, if you read this thoughtfully. But there are those that cut into people like a poor quality stiletto with a vendetta. These we must deliberately decide to walk away from: we actually have no choice. You can try to help them, add padding to them so you don’t get hurt, keep adding Band-Aids until your heels heal, stretch them within reason, and even talk to them, but some shoes just don’t fit and you have to choose to say “goodbye.” (There is an exception for a family heirloom kept because of relationships to time and tradition. Note the emphasis on “family.”)

Just like I acquired far too many shoes before I sluiced out the racks, it’s easy for us to let things pass and we get run over in useless relationships. Give it up, though. You don’t need the hammering. You don’t need the people that make you feel like you’re in an eternal competition. You don’t need extra baggage and wasted time. You still recognize their value. And you realize they all have their place somewhere in the race of life and go with someone’s style, but, my friend, you do not have to wear them all yourself. Choose what suits you and run with them—or not. That goes for knives, too: though, as a friend, may I suggest you be careful when running with stilettos?

This is a photo I took recently with the concept image of "standing out in a crowd" for a company advertisement.
What stands out about you?