Accused

“Johanna, I must speak with you.” Her pursed lips stretched grimly while her blue eyes glimmered ominously.




“Yes ma’am?” I inquired of my superior, setting down my work and stepping across the room to her call.



“You are disgusting and ought to be ashamed of yourself. I don’t know why you’re here and I don’t know what you are. Why are you …” She moved in closer and closer with each biting phrase and finished off with the biggest whopper of a false accusation I couldn’t even have imagined myself. Until that moment, I didn’t know people actually talked to people like that. And my spinning mind couldn’t even trace a single situation to base her fury upon.



For the first time in my life, my mouth fell open in shock. I actually blinked. “Excuse me, ma’am, but I am sorry you see me this way. I am so sorry to have such a misunderstanding between us! Honestly, I don’t know what to say because there’s nothing even to defend on this topic.”



“You don’t know what to say, because what I say is true.” She seethed back, her breathe warming my face. “I will be discussing this with the board and we will determine when you are to be dismissed. Know that when I have my way, you will wish you had already left this ministry.”



I stumbled backwards and nodded respectfully as I could muster. She stalked away. The next day, we had the same conversation for some reason…except it was on a stairwell landing with the addition that “God had awoken her from sleep the night before to impress my misdoing upon her again.” Frankly, it was bonified awkward on steroids.



Tears chased my heart. I was torn. Being falsely accused is terrifying, and false accusation when you are doing what’s right and contributing sacrificially is completely heart-rending. My dad fumed thousands of miles away and my mom cried over the phone. My department director rose from his desk equally stupefied at the report, did a few turns around his silent office, and sat back down to stare at me. Yup. I was doomed.



What do you do in those situations?

• James 4:6-12 But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness.Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up. Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge. There is one lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy: who art thou that judgest another?

• Evaluate yourself and look for the root that is prompting the misunderstanding

• Romans 12:17-21 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

• Defend yourself honestly and appropriately without excess and realize God is in control.

• Matthew 5:11-12 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

• Maintain perspective: do not be convinced of wrongdoing, but you must take joy in learning and personal growth through the trial.

• Remember that nothings lasts forever. This too shall pass.

• Rely on that good reputation and rapport you’ve been building on the entire planet to date. A clean record is a safeguard. Keep it clean.



I lived. I became a better person, despite the scars, and extremely difficult personal questioning examination from aged men that followed. References were phoned. My position and reputation were eventually restored. Months later, I even got a previously unheard of personal apology for “harshness.”



And I recovered from a devastating immune deficiency disorder.



“Wut?” you say. Well, yes. Previously, I lived as if it didn’t matter what people thought of me, as long as I and God knew I was just fine. The truth is, while abiding under that criteria, you still have to alter your behavior based on how others might perceive you. The truth is also that you have to be able to hear what people are telling you about your weaknesses, no matter how blown out of proportion…and you must grow from it. (Here's where I interject upon myself and say, sometimes people are inspired by evil to extreme false accusation, and that's for another post...)



As a “member of the body of Christ,” a “Christian,” I am part of something bigger. I’m just a “body part,” if you will. If I choose to ignore the warnings of my own body, that is like a body ignoring its immune system. That is never a good idea for those who want to live. You see, I had been warned that people who look a certain way get thought of a certain way, and I refused to believe that was true of innocent me. I didn’t heed the warning, and tread life carefully. That woman’s stereotype and jealousy mingled with my carelessness of other’s perception almost sent me to no man’s land.



When Adam walked with God in the garden, life was truly perfect: just him and God. I like that. But God Himself knew, said, and showed that we need the human beings around us, so He created another human to complete Adam’s life. I learned that we need people—and their warning and correction. This is a good thing that God created.