The human brain is special. Mine does crazy things, but apparently it happens to other people. You begin to ponder something and suddenly its as if the contemplated event or occurrence has already happened and you are on the other end, mentally. Now, if the event you contemplated never actually comes to fruition, its like there’s a processing error and this ominous window pops up inside and blocks out your other operating programs—keeping you from what you want to do and suddenly just can’t. “Error. Error. Error.” blinks in your mind and something like…emptiness… trickles into your heart. The symptoms are basically simple: depression. And all of a sudden, you can’t click back into real life like it was before Situation X’s mental birth and realistic death.
Why do we do this? Why do we grow these lovely expectations, watch them die unmet, and then live on in a state of heavy sadness, hidden from all others? This is what I was talking about. It does not just happen to me and I know it.
Life is cyclical and that may include affluence. Once as a little girl I kneeled on the floor and looked at my mother, holding my breath. My brothers were there and their faces were solemn, too. My child mind whirred dramatically listening to the dilemma at hand, “Kids, there is no money left. We need to pay the taxes soon, and only God can afford them. So, we’ll ask Him.” Together, we cried out loud to God for the money, and it came just in time: miraculously, in the saddest of ways. A loved one died and unexpectedly left a small sum to my family. And through all of that time was when I learned, “Hold all things loosely.”
I remember my momma would look at me kindly, extend her hands out in front of her as if holding something, as I cried through the loss of one more love: my dog, acceptance from someone who “should” provide unconditional love, a fire that consumed earthly possessions, the death of a brother. “Hold all things loosely, Johanna, always.” Then I got older and it was more loved ones dieing, more pets, more possessions, good health leaving me hanging for a time…and then relationships that I thought were a part of my future. You think I would know “Hold all things loosely, always.” by now…And I do.
But, why do we forget and cause our own heart sorrow? So I remind us all. No thing is forever. No person is a permanent installation of love. No object can be kept. We can’t live subconsciously like we get what we create in our minds. I’m not trying to rain on the life party or be a wet blanket. I just want us to be so very grateful for each individual and thing that is there right now. I just want us to be prepared to let things go. Not living in a state of perpetual distrust, but of gratefulness, love, and tranquility.
I don’t know about you, but I confess this, “I’m clingy.” What or who I like, I like. Which means, I hang onto it: with my eyes, my hands, my heart, my words, and my thoughts. But I realize that the more prepared we are to release, the more we can keep forever. The more we give it up ahead of time, the more we can bounce back again later after it leaves...
Letting go of the treasures of your heart mentally, leaves you very little to call your own. And that is just how it is supposed to be. God never changes, and He promises to stay and be there for those that seek Him. How beautiful is that? That’s what I’m holding onto—and thinking about today.
Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and forever. Hebrews 13:8
P.S. God also says this and I love it.
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. Isaiah 55:8
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Jeremiah 29:11
Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: Matthew 7:7
And they that know Thy name will put their trust in Thee: for Thou, LORD, hast not forsaken them that seek Thee. Psalm 9:10
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